What size generator for a 3500 square foot house running all-electric plus an EV charger

Notes

• The starting surge sizes the generator, not the running load. This house draws 36.3 kW steadily, but when the air conditioner or well pump starts, demand spikes to 47.3 kW for a second or two. A generator that cannot swallow that sags, and the sag is what damages motors and drops the whole panel.
• Surges do not add up, and this is where people overbuy. Two motors almost never start in the same instant, so you size for the largest single surge, not the sum. Adding every appliance's starting watts together produces a number roughly twice what the house needs — and a generator twice the size costs more to buy, more to install, and burns more fuel at part load.
• Load management will not save a size here — the running load alone already needs this machine.
• Almost nobody backs up an EV charger, and you probably should not either. A level 2 charger draws 9,600 W for hours — more than the rest of the house combined during an outage. The standard answer is to lock it out on the generator circuit or shed it with load management, and charge when the power is back. Sizing a standby generator around it is how a house ends up quoted for 48 kW.
• 48 kW is past ordinary residential standby equipment, which mostly stops around 26 kW. A number this size is a signal that the load list is too ambitious rather than that you need a light-commercial machine: shed the largest loads and the answer comes back into the normal range.
• A soft starter on the air conditioner is the other lever. It cuts compressor inrush by roughly two thirds for a couple of hundred dollars, and on a house whose peak is set by the AC that frequently drops the generator a whole size.
• Fuel matters more than the nameplate for a long outage. Natural gas runs indefinitely but delivers roughly 10% less output than propane. Propane means a tank, and a 500-gallon tank at half load runs a 20 kW unit somewhere around two to three days — not the week people assume.
• The transfer switch is a separate decision and a separate price. A whole-house automatic switch costs more than an essential-circuits one, and it is what determines whether you choose loads in advance or the generator carries everything. Budget it alongside the machine rather than discovering it in the quote.